Liz Lemon's reason
by Leonie1988
Summary: "Lemon, what tragedy happened in your life that you insist upon punishing yourself with all this... mediocrity?" Should she tell him? ONE SHOT


**L i z L e m o n ' s r e a s o n**

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**_(from Season 1 Episode 6 „Jack Meets Dennis")_**

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**Jack: "Lemon, what tragedy happened in your life that you insist upon punishing yourself with all this... mediocrity?"**

Liz didn't answer, what was weird for Jack, because she always answered him, even if she just rolled her eyes. She never was really angry with him when he talked down to her; she never got really serious, like crying-serious and she never really looked hurt. Until now.

"Lemon? Are you listening to me?" he said, hoping she was just dreaming.

Liz had known for quite some time now that she wouldn't be able to hold it together much longer. Every time Jack talked bad about her lifestyle, her attitude or her eating habit, she came one step closer to just telling him what exactly made her the way she was. And this time, he even asked her: Why did you turn out this way? She heard vaguely, that Jack asked her what was going on, while she just stared blankly at the wall behind him and that his voice sounded slightly concerned. She knew, of course, that Jack liked her and cared for her. He told her everything, and exactly that thought calmed her down. He cares. And he deserves to know. He was her best friend after all.

"Everything is fine Jack… it's just that… stop talking that way about me."

"But you are destined for better Elizabeth Lemon!" he cried out and gestured wildly with his hands.

"What if I don't what any of the stuff?" Lemon asked him.

"Everybody wants to be beautiful, successful and rich! And you have everything you need to be all that, but you are not using it!"

Liz looked at him long and hard and wondered how he would react. Would he bolt out of her office and think about it for three weeks, before he told her that he couldn't handle it or would he surprise her and actually take her into his arms and care for her. Does he even want to know? Well, he asked.

"Okay Jack, sit down a sec, this will surprise you, but you know how you asked me why I turned out this way?"

He was confused and looked at her with raised eyebrows. He nodded.

"Good." She pushed him down on the couch and took a seat next to him.

"If this is going to be one of your stories about a guy you dated turned out to be gay, than…" he started, but she interrupted him.

"Can you just shut up for a second? I'm trying to concentrate here! Sorry, just… please let me finish before you say anything."

"Fine, go ahead Lemon."

"When I was about fourteen and all the girls started to dress up and go to parties and drink, I started too. I know what you want to say… I was a nerd, I never had fun. But I wasn't like that always. I went with the crowd for a few months and went to parties with the cool people and listened to music everybody listened too… but then everything changed."

Jack had never seen his Lemon so emotional and goddamn serious. What was going on?

Liz leaned back in her seat and started to talk slowly and without looking at him.

"We went out one night once again… We were all dressed up sexy and beautiful. We went to a college party and… to make this as short as possible, some guy slipped roofies into my drink… well, and you can imagine the rest. Even though I don't remember what happened that night, it happened and… it's not a nice thing to happen to you and my friends turned out to be, well not really my friends and I was all alone. I just never wanted to come into such a situation ever again. So I stopped dressing up or caring about my outside, I never started dating until very much later in college and I hate sex. Are you happy now?"

For the first time since she started talking, she looked at him and he realized that she was neither kidding nor lying… she had actually been raped? His Lemon?

"No I'm not happy Liz. I'm so sorry this happened to you. Did they catch the guy?"

"Yeah, he was locked away for only like three years, because he 'acted under the influence of alcohol and couldn't be held fully responsible for his actions.' Bullshit. He grinned at me in the courtroom."

"Oh god Lemon, I don't know what to say."

"You really don't have to say anything Jack, but you are my friend and you deserve to know what happened."

"Thank you for your trust, it means a lot to me!" Jack told her and put his hand on her shoulder.

"You are the only person besides my family who knows, not even Jenna knows, she wouldn't be able to handle it."

"Yeah, you might be right about that one. She'd freak out. Though I'm not doing very well myself right now."

Despite the situation, Liz smiled. "You are doing fine, I thought you would stop talking to me altogether. Anyway, now you know, the awkward part is over, let's go back to bantering and laughing, that's so much more fun! And don't worry too much about me Jack, I am fine, it was a long time ago."

He nodded and pulled her into a hug.

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**T H E E N D**

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**Please review and tell me what you think!**


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